“I hate the way that you walk, the way that you talk, I hate the way that you dress” Proverbs 5:4 Book of Kendrick
Haters are welcome here
In the last week, the world stood still while Kendrick Lamar and Drake battled to see who was the greatest rapper of our time, and even though we discovered the real winner (Kendrick), what it taught me is I’m not living in my full potential of my hating. Because the way Kendrick has utter disgust for Drake publicly is a level I aspire to.
Though this newsletter was on pause for a bit, do not underestimate the fact that my level of hate for Jennifer Lopez has decreased.
I may have tweeted how I felt a tiny bit bad for Jennifer getting whacked on all different corners of social media, but nothing can ever release me from my disdain for her. Because, unlike the newbies who jumped on the hate train in April, I’ve been here since 2001.
In February, Jennifer released a three-part series of her album This is Me Now, which she financed for $20 million. But the album flopped on the charts, critics panned it, tour dates were canceled because they couldn’t sell, and then a clip from her documentary where she expressed how her hair looked messy like the days she used to run up and down “the block” aka The Bronx, and somehow it unleashed a fury of hate.
The podcast The Town named her the Biggest Loser of 2024, and it’s not even six months into the year she gained that title. It’s been a rough few weeks for Jlo Stans on Twitter and TikTok, but for me, I used to pray for times like these.
Through all the troubled waters Jennifer has experienced the last few weeks, on Monday, she was one of the co-chairs at this year’s Met Gala, with the themed “Sleeping Beauties: Reawakening Fashion,” with the Garden of Time dress code. Jennifer wore Schiaparelli Haute Couture, a strapless gown made with illusion tulle and embroidered with s2.5 million silver-foil worth of bugle beads. The Met is the one-time celebs can step out of their comfort zone, flex their sense of style, and wear something we’d never expect them to wear, but Jenny From the Block just can’t be released from the shackles of a nude gown.
As I said in my very first newsletter post, I will never get over the fact that she scammed us into thinking she could dress. That being said, I will be sure to continue to express my hatred for J.Lo because it’s just who I am.
One last thing, she is never beating those cheap allegations. She’s even stingy with heart emojis.
The hateful royals
Prince Harry has returned to the UK for his annual Invictus Games, harry was hoping during his stop he could see his family members, especially his father who is currently going through treatment for cancer. However, King Charles was not interested in seeing Harry and instead threw a lavish soiree great lawn of the palace in London, and Prince Williams held an event at Windsor Castle.
Do you know how much hatred you have to have to deny seeing your child who doesn’t live in the same country while you’re in the queue to visit your dead mother? A lot!
How bad is the economy?
Imagine my shock when I came across an Instagram of my favorite White Woman, Gwyneth Paltrow was doing a haul of her Target finds. I almost fell to my knees. What do you mean, the epitome of wealth is shopping with us, peasants?
Gwyneth cosplayed as poor and pretended she was shopping at Target because her Goop skincare products are now available for the everyday people. In the video, she shared she brought snacks, coconut oils, faux uggs, and books. I’m just having a hard time believing the woman who created a gift guide of absurdly overpriced products that included a Desert Farm Camel Milk subscription for $103 a month or a 24K gold playing cards for only $2300 will wear Target-branded Ugg shoes? I know she broke out in a hive, touching the fake polyester. Not falling for it. Not Goop approved.
A new Kennedy has entered the chat
This week, Robert Kennedy Jr. confessed that doctors discovered a worm had crawled inside of his brain and eaten part of it, then it died. Even with a parasite-infested brain, he’s not even the most talked about Kennedy on social media right now.
May I introduce to you Jack Schlossberg, JFK’s only grandson, multi-degrees holder, Kesha stan, and lookalike of his uncle JFK Jr (I disagree). Jack reached a new height this past week when Twitter discovered bizarre Instagram posts and stories. I hate to be an Aquarius, but I have been secretly obsessed with his Instagram account since I discovered it in the Summer of 2020. Back then, his account was mundane, where he posted the word of the day, and it never made any sense. Consider yourself lucky to have found him when he’s shirtless and weird.
There was a period when Jack tried to portray himself like the Kennedys before him, passionate about the state of the world and politics. But something shifted in the last two years, and now he only posts shirtless photos of himself paddleboarding on the East River. He became a certified Himbo and posts wacky stories that only a small margin of people can comprehend. Oh, and he makes multiple posts about how he’s NOT voting for his cousin RFK Jr. (we love a hater).
He’s living the life his uncle (and maybe even his grandfather) wanted to have but was forced to be a lawyer and care about politics against his own will. May the Kennedy curse dodge him because, technically, he doesn’t have the name.
I am happy to finally have others join the Jack Schlossberg fan club.
More News To Check Out
Emily Blunt wants to vomit when she has to make out with her male costars and then apologizes because Americans cannot handle a woman with a sense of humor or have actual disgust for him.
Justin Bieber and Hailey Bieber are having a baby. Everyone is on standby to see Selena Gomez’s inevitable public meltdown. But best of luck to Hailey because she will be doing all the heavy lifting of parenting.
Big day in Bravo universe:
Andy Cohen is vindicated as his investigation of misconduct allegations is closed.
Dorit and PK of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills are separating, and everyone hopes Dorit will hook up with Kyle’s ex, Mauricio, to give her a storyline that she hasn’t had for several seasons.
The rookie TV show The Valley has been renewed for a second season, so we can continue watching the world group of elder millennials on reality TV.
Mrs. Met announced she would no longer use her personal Twitter account and would only post using Mr. Met's account. Something in the buttermilk is not clean. I suspect Mr.Met is cheating, and to keep the marriage intact, they have to use a couple’s account.
That concludes a hater’s digest for the week.
xo,
britt