This is me… confused
I watched Jennifer Lopez’s demented visual experience of This Is Me…Now: A Love Story so you don’t have to, and I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I don’t want to drag her entirely for this mess. As I reflect and witness her flopping in real-time, a part of me feels bad that she put so much effort into a piece of art that will simply be a blimp in the lexicon, and it made me sympathetic. J.Lo believed in this vision enough that when production studios bailed, she dipped in her own account and put down $20 million for it to come to fruition.
In an interview with Rolling Stone, Jennifer stated, “I don’t want to do anything that’s ever been done before. I want to do something different, new, special, one of a kind,” and this is the type of delusional I’m trying to be in 2024. She really believes this was a cultural reset that hasn’t been done before. But it has, multiple times! There were even news reports of sources saying Jennifer deserved an Oscar nomination, and I need the entire world to be fucking for real.
But, back to this bizarre movie. It’s definitely ambitious. The film embodied a bad acid trip that goes from ‘this is bizarre’ (a heart factory and astrologers working to make sure she finds love again) to ‘Oh, we’re going to have a dance break in the middle of an AA meeting?!’
For it to be titled, This is Me; I left knowing even less about Jennifer. There’s no insight into her relationship with Ben other than the opening scene where she’s on a motorcycle ride with him, which leads to a crash as a metaphor for her broken heart. The film ends with her saying she can be alone and happy — which is not true. The album is literally about your relationship with Ben Affleck.
I can’t believe I will muster the fact that it reminds me of another deranged long-form musical movie — Michael Jackson’s Moonwalker. It's a film that literally starts with a plot and takes multiple detours to the point where there’s no return, but in the process, we get stellar music videos, ie, “Smooth Criminal” and “Leave Me Alone.” Sadly, there’s no Smooth Criminal or Leave Me Alone in This Is Me…Now, but E for Effort. A+ for the girlies who are down bad for their man, where they make a whole trilogy about the love affair. Maybe I aspire.
But at the end of the day, As a lover girl, I think about what I would do with $20 million to spare?! I would make sure to cast Colin Farrell as my love interest in a rom-com, and how different is that from this?!
Happy Black History Month
Tom Sandoval, from the Bravo show Vanderpump Rules, had an interview with The New York Times. Last spring, the whole world shook when Sandoval was revealed: Tom was having an affair with Rachel, who is “best friends” with his then-girlfriend, Ariana. The scandal even went outside of the Bravo universe — in the big scheme of it all, it was a cultural moment in pop culture, but how deep into culture do you think this story could go? Perhaps, pivotal moments in Black culture deep?
Tom seems to think so. In the interview, Sandoval theorizes about why the scandal got so much attention: “I’m not a pop-culture historian really, but I witnessed the O.J. Simpson thing and George Floyd and all these big things, which is really weird to compare this to that, I think, but do you think in a weird way it’s a little bit the same?”
Do you think?
No, seriously, does Tom think? He’s comparing a cheating scandal on a bravo show to George Floyd’s death and the O.J. Simpson trial?! This quote simply spellbinds me and shows me how Tom’s brain operates.
Thankfully, after hours of confusion from everyone by his comments, Tom graciously apologized on Instagram stories.
If there’s one thing a man will do is have the audacity.
Bradley Cooper is doing what I hope other celebs will do
Before Lady Gaga became Ally in the 2018 flick, A Star is Born, Bradley Cooper considered Beyonce for the role. During his Q&A with the SAG-AFTRA foundation, Cooper shared a funny story about meeting with Beyonce at her home to discuss the role and gave us a little insight into the Caters household. "I went to Beyoncé's house, and Jay-Z was watching Judge Judy, I still remember. I'm not kidding. And I was freaking out," he said.
Excuse me, but what does Blue Ivy’s second client enjoy watching? Who cares about the meeting of Beyoncé potentially being in A Star is Born; when there is new evidence that Jay-Z is sitting around watching Judge Judy? He likes trashy tv, too?
It made me think, if I were as powerful as Bey and Jay, what would I do with that power? I would have an entire movie cast sit in my living room and give me a live commentary like old school Directors Cuts commentary DVDs. Just imagine hearing the cast of Uncut Gems sharing insight into filming the movie in the comfort of my home. A safe space to have a proper anxiety attack while watching it.
I would have someone watch all 50 TikToks of Who the F Did I Marry? saga and give me cliff notes. I can’t imagine sitting through 50 ten-minute-long TikToks, but I love that for anyone who did. Who said our generation has short attention spans - not when it's in the form of TikToks?
What would you do with that type of power?
xo,
britt.