Joe Jonas really is the worst
In the last newsletter, I shared how Joe Jonas has been on a campaign to make his wife of four years, Sophie Turner, look like an unfit mother to their children to validate his filing for divorce.
Sophie said checkmate, and I will hang out with your ex-girlfriend Taylor Swift in the meantime. On Thursday, Sophie filed a lawsuit against Joe, where we learned that Joe has been refusing to hand over their two children’s passports for Sophie to return to their home in the UK and raise them.
In the petition, we learned their kids had been wrongfully kept in New York City since Wednesday from their “habitual residence” in England. The two had made England their permanent home in April and were planning to attend school there. While Sophie was filming a movie, we also learned that Joe took their kids on tour with him in America.
Is Joe campaigning to be the worst ex-husband of all time. Does he think the revival of the Jonas Brothers is enough to blind the general public to be Team Joe in this split? He has terribly mistaken his cool factor.
Beauty and the Felon
According to a court order obtained by Meghann Cuff, Nicki Minaj's registered sex offender husband, Kenneth Petty, has been sentenced to house arrest after violating the terms of his three-year probation.
The document filed on Wednesday states that Petty made threatening remarks toward a specific individual while in the company of someone with a criminal record. Meghann Cuniff tweeted that the individual is Offset, Cardi B's husband.
Did Cardi or Offset need to do this when her husband went on IG Live, documenting him threatening Offset. If you’re ever going to violate your sentence, at least don’t have video evidence of you doing so.
It has been reported by Meghann Thee Reporter that neither Cardi B nor Offsett contacted Mr. Petty's probation officer or law enforcement. It hasn't stopped Nicki Minaj from attacking them on Twitter and Instagram Stories. In an Instagram Story, she wrote: "You can't call the cops every time you flop. Just saying.” Implying Cardi’s recent single “Bongos” with Megan Thee Stallion isn't charting well for her husband being sentenced to house arrest.
Nicki also claimed she will go on ‘Queen Radio’ on Friday to “name names.” What’s worse, having a single flop or having your husband sentenced to house arrest? I feel like Nicki should sit this one out.
James Marsden….that’s the title.
This past summer was rough when it came to White Boy of the Month on Twitter because my entire feed was Cillian Murphy, and though he’s not the ugliest, I’m not into sick Victorian-era-looking men.
Now that we’re in September, and we’ve collectively moved away from Opperhimer praise…there’s a vacancy open for White Boy of the Month(s), and I vouch for James Marsden.
Is he always in terrible movies? Yes! Do we always forget he’s even a movie star? All the time. But look at that face! This man has all the talents in the world, with charm and good looks, and somehow, it did not advance him in Hollywood, and I have questions.
There are uglies with Oscars who have done way less and have no talents, and yet James is here singing, dancing, and versatility in acting with old Hollywood level of looks. How did we allow this to fall through the cracks?
And just when he was having his moment, getting an Emmy nomination for playing himself in the hysterical mockumentary Jury Duty, actors and writers are on strike, and we’ve been robbed of not only an award show but James’ Emmy campaigning. The major studios will pay for their crimes.
James recently turned 50, and enjoy 16 mins of him doing ASMR. We will bypass the fact he’s a Virgo (yuck).
More News To Check Out
🍗 *NSYNC was on Hot Ones. If we ain’t going to get a tour, I guess this will do.
👑 The cause of the death of ‘Euphoria’ Augus Cloud has been revealed.
💜 Netflix’s ‘Love is Blind’ returns today. Can’t wait to binge-watch and judge a bunch of strangers on their dating habits. Nature is healing.
🤞 Strike Update: WGA & AMPTP Return to Negotiating Table
😭 Sufjan Stevens shared he has been diagnosed with an auto-immune disease, which left him unable to walk
🙏 I used to pray for times like these: Mark Wahlberg says he may retire from acting.
xo,
britt