I’m sick…that I haven't written a newsletter in a while. And I’ve missed it! Plus, so much has happened. But we must focus on what’s happening right now, so we’re going to dive into the gossip of recent days, starting off with the man of the summer…
Hot Glen Summer!
If you have read previous newsletters you’d know I have been skeptical of the hype relating to Glen Powell. But I must admit, for a very very brief moment, the propaganda got me. I was bombarded with clips of his interviews and I thought, “ok, he’s charming and harmless. I gave in!” Enough so, I sought to watch Hit-Man, and after three attempts to finish the film, I went back to my gut feeling that this is a hoax. I truly believe Sc*entology is behind this machine to make us believe he’s the second coming of Tom Cruise. I mean Tom is definitely spending more time with Glen and promoting his films than the amount of time he has spent with Suri Cruise in the last 15 years.
I will also admit that every once in a while, I come across a picture of him and think, “Oh, I see it now,” but I have to remind myself that this is the Sc*entology machine trying to convince me this mediocre man deserves the world. I refuse!
I truly look forward to the day when every post and news announcement in entertainment doesn’t revolve around Glen Powell. However, I’ll take everything back if it means we do not have to make space for Armie Hammer again. To prevent that from happening, I’ll see Twisters seven times in the theaters.
We are divided
I never knew we were heavily divided as a nation until this past week. I know you’re reading this and thinking I’m referring to Donald Trump’s assassination attempt but not quite.
The comedic band Tenacious D, comprised of actor Jack Black and his frequent collaborator Kyle Gass, has been around since ‘94 and has finally performed in Australia for the first time in over a decade. Earlier this week, during one of their shows, they celebrated Kyle’s 64th birthday by presenting him with a cake. Jack asked him to make a birthday wish, which Kyle joked before blowing out the candles: " Don’t miss Trump next time.” Now, I know Australia is on the other side of the world, but I swear these comments didn’t even hit my feed until everything between the band had already crumbled.
Not only did the band cancel the rest of the tour, but Jack Black hopped on Instagram, posted a notes app apology, and basically announced the breakup of Tenacious D. I swear the news didn’t even make waves until Jack made the post. Who would have thought, technically, that the host of The Apprentice would be responsible for their breakup? This just doesn’t feel right.
I guess he didn’t want those Kung Fu Panda checks to stop.
Drake is having the worst summer ever
If you think you’re having a hard time coping with today’s news cycle, at least you’re not Drake. Drake has always been the King of music. Every summer, there is a song of his that tends to be on heavy rotation to be the soundtrack of the season’s vibes, but not this year. After his beef with Kendrick, it’s been downhill ever since. Kendrick has every corner of the culture riding with him, and the song “Not Like Us,” from sporting games to the Kids Choice Awards to even his mentor Lil Wayne was spotted singing along to the track. It’s bad for him.
Just when things couldn’t get worse, after intense rainfall in Toronto, Drake’s mansion was flooded with ankle-deep brown muddy water. And it’s like damn, even Mother Nature is siding with Kendrick. Drake is cooked.
At least we all were able to watch his homegoing service as a family on Juneteenth.
And one last stray for Drake: the Red Hot Chili Peppers performed in Toronto and made sure they let everyone know they don’t play when it comes to California and sticking with Kendrick.
It’s hard being a Katy Cat
I’m not sure I’d consider myself a member of Katy Perry’s stan club, but I enjoy her music for the most part and always have a ball at her live shows. However, it’s hard to not mention that the last eight years have not been the kindest to Katy’s music career. Ever since 2016, it has been a downward spiral where Katy has not been able to fully recover and regain the public’s love that she once had. (I will die on the hill that Witness has quite a few standout records, and “Harley’s in Hawaii” should have performed better.)
From her feud with Taylor Swift to having to slum it as an American Idol judge to pay the bills, there haven’t been fireworks booming for quite some time. Fans were somewhat excited to know Katy would return to the music scene until they learned she would be rejoining forces with disgraced music producer Dr. Luke. Dr. Luke has been accused of sexually assaulting pop star Kesha, which has reprimanded his stellar music-producing career. But to top it off, the song is AWFUL. You worked with the man who’s blacklisted in the industry and it’s not a bop? Risking it all for nothing.
The leading single, titled “Woman’s World” just feels lazy, unfinished, and completely dated. Music critics panned it, fans were not impressed and what seemed like a promising comeback has gone back to square one.
All we can do is hope the rest of the album has at least listenable jams because she is one failed album away from calling Andy Cohen to be cast on the next season of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.
Fast roundup news
While I was on vacation, the biggest news to hit Montecito streets since Ozempic was professional celebrity friend, Derek Blasberg reportedly had explosive diarrhea all over Gwyneth Paltrow’s home. Apparently, it left Gwynnie horrified after Derek fled the scene and left her with the bill.
The Grim Reaper has been working overtime. This past week, we lost many legends: Richard Simmons, Dr. Ruth, Bob Newhart, Shannen Doherty, and Shelly Duvall.
Millennials’ new favorite nepo baby and silly goose, Jack Schlossberg is finally employed (and wearing a shirt)! His first week as Vogue Magazine’s political correspondent has been eventful, to say the least. And if you’re feeling hurt that a Kennedy has taken a good journalism job, don’t fret, he’s only getting paid $250 per article. Everyone is struggling.
Notorious bad tipper in the hospitality streets, Jennifer Lopez, has turned a new leaf and reportedly left a $50 tip at an ice cream shop in the Hamptons. She knows she needs to turn the narrative around.
Jennifer and Ben Affleck’s second wedding anniversary was this past Thursday, and all J.Lo posted was Amazon Prime Deals for her skincare line. Seems like the divorce may be happening.
Even though Armie Hammer is a trust fund baby, he misses the spotlight, and after disappearing in 2021 after the sexual abuse allegations, he’s now scratching the surface of the D list of doing a comeback press tour with interviews by Bill Maher and Piers Morgan.
Back in 2022, Madonna hosted a boot camp for actresses vying for the lead role of her biopic. Emmy winner Julia Garner secured the role, but in January 2023, Madonna called off the film. But we’re back, baby! It was announced that the movie Who’s That Girl is back on, and Garner is still attached to portray Madonna.
And I’ll leave you with my favorite meme on the internet. Everyone is falling out of coconut trees over Kamala Harris and now music stans are adding her soundbites to iconic songs. My Favs: Mariah Carey, Kesha, and, Britney Spears.
And always remember:
xo,
britt.