What goes around, comes around
Britney Spears is finally sharing her own story with her memoir “The Woman in Me.” For months leading up to the book’s release, her ex-boyfriend Justin Timberlake has been bracing the public about what might be revealed about him and their relationship. He did what any celebrity ex does: drum up some positive PR. In late Summer, he teamed up with Nelly Furtado and NSYNC to tap into millennial nostalgia musical collaboration, which all gander positive news spin but flopped real bad and had no retention on the general public.
After that hard work to get on everyone’s good side, his ex-girlfriend from twenty years ago has released her memoir, and now certain details of their relationship have been made public.
Key Moments Britney Mentioned About a Relationship From Twenty Years Ago
Justin cheated on her numerous times.
Britney cheated by kissing her backup dancer Wade Robson in retaliation (is this considered cheating? I mean, yes, technically, but compared to Justin’s dirty work, I don’t even think they’re even. Britney needs to go back in time and actually CHEAT on him).
Justin dumped her via text (are you really a millennial if you haven’t been dumped via text at least once in your lifetime)
While dating, Britney became pregnant, but because Justin wasn’t ready to be a father, she went through an abortion.
He used a blaccent when he met R&B singer Ginuwine.
Is this career-shattering information? No, but to Justin, it is. This is comical, considering over the years, he leveraged his career based on Britney’s popularity and the demise of their relationship. Made several songs about their breakup, had a Britney lookalike in his video, shared public about her not being a virgin, made the media condemn Britney for cheating on ramen noodle head.
But if you all could bring out your tiniest violin for Justin right now. I’m sad to announce that due to his ex’s book (which has only been out for four days), Justin has decided to cancel future shows in 2024 and is disappointed his comeback might be over. All of his hard PR work has gone to waste. But I bet Britney and Janet Jackson also had career plans that were derailed due to his actions.
All of this wouldn’t be a big deal if he’d just shut up and announce a tour with NSYNC. It really IS that easy. All would be forgiven. Millennials have fish brains and need a shiny object to be distracted, but Justin would never consider that as an option. Instead, we will be bombarded with PR updates until the book dies down.
A three-course meal King
One man who came out of Britney Spears's book tour unscattered, Colin Farrell. A two-week tryst made its way into her memoir, and the general public (ME) is forever grateful. Brit is free from ramen noodle head and ready for a rebound, and she secured Colin for that spot. QUEEN! She described their hookup as “brawl is the only word for it — we were all over each other, grappling so passionately it was like we were in a street fight,” she writes.
I mean, during this period, Colin was community d-ck, but no one deserves breakfast, lunch, and f-ing dinner more than Britney.
More News To Check Out
😔 Emily Blunt apologized for fatphobic comments she made in 2012
🧐 Joshua Jackson is single and maybe dating Lupita Nyong’o, and it feels like Joshua is going to date Jodie Turner-Smith variants from this moment on.
😒 The hardest thing Kylie Jenner has ever done in her life is changing her son’s name from Wolf to Aire.
🙄 Gwyneth Paltrow is still mad about being called a ‘nepo baby’ even though she literally is one.
🤷♀️ Hasan Minhaj fact-checked the fact-checked article that accused him of embellishing her standup routines.
xo,
britt.