Ariana Grande is not a girl’s girl
As I reported in the last week’s newsletter, Ariana Grande is a supreme homewrecker, and it is no surprise that shortly after her separation from Not-Pete Davidson, her next relationship would involve breaking up a home of some sort. No one expected her to break up Carrot Top’s home, though. Since last week, more development has been exposed. Wednesday, Ethan Slater made his commitment to Ariana by filing for divorce from his high school sweetheart and mother of his newborn, Lilly Jay. Now Lilly Jay has called up Page Six and gave her the “Ramona’s speech” she gave Bethenny on ‘RHONY’ S10E9, “[Ariana’s] the story really. Not a girl’s girl,” Jay told the outlet. “My family is just collateral damage.” Personally, that’s the harshest insult another girl can give you.
Are we supposed to think a woman from Boca is a girl’s girl in any way? It’s also bold of Carrot Top to put his whole faith in this relationship by filing for divorce when Ariana will be on to the next guy once ‘Wicked’ is released, if that even happens in our lifetime.
Lana Del Rey is an enigma
Every time I come across news about Lana Del Rey, none of it ever makes sense. A decade ago, when she released her debut album, she was a Lolitia-esque sad girl who changed the landscape of pop music, but her personal life is weird. Now she cosplays as trailer trash when she was raised in Lake Placid, New York, and went to Fordham University. Imagine coming across the headline, “Lana Del Rey is working at a Waffle House in Alabama.”
I would like to know how Lana decided it was time to put on a uniform and get behind the counter at some random Waffle House. Did they train her? Did she memorize the menu the day of? Is it work-study? I need answers. Mind you, she’s on tour.
Everything you own in the box to the left
Miss Tina Knowles, aka Beyoncé’s mother, decided to join the divorce summer club. After eight years of marriage, she’s walking away from her marriage to actor Richard Lawson.
Some developments unfolded from Richard’s Twitter account last night. But I’m more interested in a 70-year-old deciding it’s time to go back to the streets. Obviously, Richard did something BAD for her to end a marriage this late in the game; I also wonder if she listens to any of her daughters' music when she’s going through heartbreak. Also, can she bring back corny joke time to her Instagam?
And for those hoping Beyoncé will walk in her shoes, it’s never happening in our lifetime. She has been with Jay since she was 18, and they are too much of a package deal.
And Just Like That…is a really bad habit I can’t break
The ‘Sex and the City’ reboot, ‘And Just Like That,’ is one of the worst shows I’ve decided to commit to. I can’t stop watching it, even though I deeply hate everything about the show. We can never recapture the magic of SATC and what it brought to culture in the 90s and 00s into our current decade because things have changed so much, and the ladies are much older. That being said, the storytelling is drastically different, and because they panicked after Kim Cantrell left and didn't want Twitter to flame them for not having any minorities on a show based in NYC, they gave each main character their own woman of color sidekick. And because of this, it’s hard to stick to the core three’s storyline, and even Carrie gets lost in the sauce.
Miranda, who has always been an independent woman who doesn't really put up with anything, has become sheepishly obsessed with her partner Che Diaz who is a terrible human being. And every week, I was begging for the two to break up. People change as they get older, but I can’t imagine Miranda putting up with how Che treated her and they had nothing in common (not that she had anything in common with Steve, but they at least had chemistry). Not to mention, she left Steve. How could you, Miranda?
Where do I start with Carrie. I know Carrie is mourning the loss of Big but either make her incredibly depressed or get us back to fun Carrie. This boring Carrie, who has been a sex columnist her adult life, couldn’t read an ad about periods for her podcast and she was offended when Charlotte asked if she had any condoms because she’s single. Carrie immediately jumps to the conclusion that she would have condoms to prevent pregnancy and it’s like no, you’re a single girl having casual sex who should be practicing safe sex. HOW DOES A SEX COLUMNIST NOT KNOW THIS?! My eye was twitching.
And Charlotte is happily married, raising her kids, and being fabulous; she can stay.
My biggest qualm is Aidan. Aidan, the one who Carrie was engaged to, and she cheated on him with Big, who she ended up getting married to. Well, Big is dead, and she decided to hit up Aidan with a “hey stranger” email, and I’m supposed to believe this man is still hung up on Carrie after all these years?!? She never really liked Aidan. I pinned Aidan as a standup guy who had self-respect, and I just can’t imagine, after the pain she put him through, that he would allow himself to date Carrie again because Big died and she’s lonely.
And just like that, I can’t wait to watch how their relationship unfolds.
xo, britt.